After getting rather angry with my crock pot the other day, my rage spread to our bread maker just moments later, and then to my husband.
What's so great about a bread maker any way? You dump in a bunch of ingredients and then the machine kneads it for you...Why would you want to skip that- it's the best part. I like to pretend that I am kneading a pillow into my husbands face when he is sleeping. I can't let a machine take that day dream away from me.
We have a bread maker that I purchased for my dear husband as a Christmas gift three years back. I was so excited because he used one all of the time when we were first married but it died at some point. Surely my Christmas gift would bring him pleasure.
No, it sits and collects dust.
Did I mention I love to day dream about smothering my husband with a pillow? I have yet to buy him a Christmas gift that he is absolutely in love with. It has come to the point where we no longer exchange gifts, something I suggested, to save money. I really suggested it because I hate the frustration of buying him something and seeing that he is not as excited as I am.
Another year, before we had children, Colin became interested in the art of stained glass. I had this fabulous idea where I bought him a gift certificate to this local shop that sold everything for stained glass crafting. I felt so proud to think of it and to support local business as well all in one shopping trip.
He never used the gift certificate.
Asshole.
Two years ago I bought him a copy of his favorite Christmas movie on DVD. I had warm thoughts of the family watching it, snuggled under a quilt eating popcorn.
His response. "It plays on TBS all day on Christmas."
Did I mention that I daydream about smothering my husband with a pillow?
-C
Monday, January 26, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Crockpots
So I thought as I embark upon becoming the perfect wife and mother, crock pot cooking should be added to my resume.
I am on my third crock pot since I moved out of my childhood home in 1997.
Sadly, I have never used one to cook.
The first one was an apartment warming gift from my sister's best friend. It was very nice of her.
I ended up giving it away because I lived off boxes of cous-cous in my twenties; a classier version of Oodles of Noodles.
My second crock pot was purchased a few years ago for my salon business; a ghetto version of keeping towels warm for facial services.
My third and most likely, final crock pot, was a gift from my father last year when he was visiting and wanted to make our family baked beans. It is now gathering dust on top of the refrigerator.
When the sun slips behind the clouds every so often, I think of my crock pot that seems to look down at me as if resting it's spirit in Heaven. I wonder if it is sad because it's existence pretty much has been forgotten except on these occasional cloudy days where it's chilly and I am finally feeling like cooking, nesting, anything domestic what have you.
This afternoon was one of those days.
My friend here actually emailed me a wonderful website where this mother posted some of her favorite crock pot recipes.
I was so excited!
Unfortunately my excitement diminished within seconds.
Ingredients:
Cubed chicken breast.
Veggies of your choice.
Spices of your choice.
Cream of mushroom soup.
At some point, like four hours later, you add pasta to the mush and then cook it for another 45 minutes on high.
I'm scratching my head. What makes this easy? I still have to cut up the chicken. I still have to check on it and bloody hell, there's cream of mushroom soup in this recipe....Is it written in stone that you add cream of mushroom soup or sour cream to every crock pot recipe? Do crock pot companies have some kind of contract with creamy food people?
Wouldn't it be just as easy to cut up chicken, stir fry it with veggies and spices of your choice, while pasta boils at the same moment? When the two are cooked to your liking, mix them in a beautiful pottery bowl with olive oil and cooking wine, leaving thoughts of cream of mush behind....
I am giving this f*cking crock pot away too. Screw crock pots.
-C
I am on my third crock pot since I moved out of my childhood home in 1997.
Sadly, I have never used one to cook.
The first one was an apartment warming gift from my sister's best friend. It was very nice of her.
I ended up giving it away because I lived off boxes of cous-cous in my twenties; a classier version of Oodles of Noodles.
My second crock pot was purchased a few years ago for my salon business; a ghetto version of keeping towels warm for facial services.
My third and most likely, final crock pot, was a gift from my father last year when he was visiting and wanted to make our family baked beans. It is now gathering dust on top of the refrigerator.
When the sun slips behind the clouds every so often, I think of my crock pot that seems to look down at me as if resting it's spirit in Heaven. I wonder if it is sad because it's existence pretty much has been forgotten except on these occasional cloudy days where it's chilly and I am finally feeling like cooking, nesting, anything domestic what have you.
This afternoon was one of those days.
My friend here actually emailed me a wonderful website where this mother posted some of her favorite crock pot recipes.
I was so excited!
Unfortunately my excitement diminished within seconds.
Ingredients:
Cubed chicken breast.
Veggies of your choice.
Spices of your choice.
Cream of mushroom soup.
At some point, like four hours later, you add pasta to the mush and then cook it for another 45 minutes on high.
I'm scratching my head. What makes this easy? I still have to cut up the chicken. I still have to check on it and bloody hell, there's cream of mushroom soup in this recipe....Is it written in stone that you add cream of mushroom soup or sour cream to every crock pot recipe? Do crock pot companies have some kind of contract with creamy food people?
Wouldn't it be just as easy to cut up chicken, stir fry it with veggies and spices of your choice, while pasta boils at the same moment? When the two are cooked to your liking, mix them in a beautiful pottery bowl with olive oil and cooking wine, leaving thoughts of cream of mush behind....
I am giving this f*cking crock pot away too. Screw crock pots.
-C
Monday, January 19, 2009
Resolutions
I told myself that I wasn't going to do the resolution thing as 2009 approached and passed but I am finding myself making changes without even planning it.
Before Colin and I had children we had many intentions on how we were going to raise them and most intentions faded as reality set in or laziness perhaps. No t.v., no plastic toys, organic diets...I could go on and on. We did well the first year as I secretly returned plastic fisher price gifts, re-gifted Baby Einstein DVDs, and canceled our Direct T.V. service. (That caused our first divorce conversation, by the way.)
I'm okay with plastic toys now although it makes me cringe to walk into some one's house where the floor is littered with them, especially the small McDonald's ones. I can't take chaos scattered across the floor. But I can take plastic toys now. I'm okay with that.
With higher grocery prices I have to admit we have slipped a bit on eating organic but with some creativity with following the rhythm of sales we are getting back to eating organic foods. I'm not sure that it's going to save us from cancer but I am happy to help the environment in any way possible.
T.V. may be our biggest issue as I am not a morning person. We eat up our two hours of allotted screen time first thing as I write and sip my coffee. Guilt often overwhelms me as I sneak it on at 4:00 pm to get through that witching hour and to prepare dinner as I drink more coffee and turn on my own t.v. in the kitchen so I can get my fix of Oprah.
So, we are slowly going back to some of our original goals as responsible parents. Slowly....It feels good to "do the right thing." It feels good to feel like we are making a difference.
I'm not sure that these changes are mere New Year's resolutions or a change of lifestyle but it's something worth working at for sure. Although the media doesn't present positiveness when it comes to our country's future, or the world for that matter, I feel very positive. This positiveness has inspired me to create a future blog that will be linked to LexaproMama. Stay tuned!
-C
Before Colin and I had children we had many intentions on how we were going to raise them and most intentions faded as reality set in or laziness perhaps. No t.v., no plastic toys, organic diets...I could go on and on. We did well the first year as I secretly returned plastic fisher price gifts, re-gifted Baby Einstein DVDs, and canceled our Direct T.V. service. (That caused our first divorce conversation, by the way.)
I'm okay with plastic toys now although it makes me cringe to walk into some one's house where the floor is littered with them, especially the small McDonald's ones. I can't take chaos scattered across the floor. But I can take plastic toys now. I'm okay with that.
With higher grocery prices I have to admit we have slipped a bit on eating organic but with some creativity with following the rhythm of sales we are getting back to eating organic foods. I'm not sure that it's going to save us from cancer but I am happy to help the environment in any way possible.
T.V. may be our biggest issue as I am not a morning person. We eat up our two hours of allotted screen time first thing as I write and sip my coffee. Guilt often overwhelms me as I sneak it on at 4:00 pm to get through that witching hour and to prepare dinner as I drink more coffee and turn on my own t.v. in the kitchen so I can get my fix of Oprah.
So, we are slowly going back to some of our original goals as responsible parents. Slowly....It feels good to "do the right thing." It feels good to feel like we are making a difference.
I'm not sure that these changes are mere New Year's resolutions or a change of lifestyle but it's something worth working at for sure. Although the media doesn't present positiveness when it comes to our country's future, or the world for that matter, I feel very positive. This positiveness has inspired me to create a future blog that will be linked to LexaproMama. Stay tuned!
-C
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Frankly, I don't know what to title this.
Last night I gave Grie and Sophie their bath.
I told them to get their hair wet so Mama could wash it.
After a few minutes I return and Grie has some exciting news.
"Mama! Sophie poured water on my penis and it made it grow!"
It might be time to start bathing them individually.
I told them to get their hair wet so Mama could wash it.
After a few minutes I return and Grie has some exciting news.
"Mama! Sophie poured water on my penis and it made it grow!"
It might be time to start bathing them individually.
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